


“You aren’t a good friend”

by SorryJustAnotherPerson



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Alya sugar, Angst with a Happy Ending, F/M, Good Friend Alya Césaire, Good Friend Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug, Lila is the bad friend, Manipulative Lila Rossi, Strong Marinette Dupain-Cheng, Toxic Relationships, Toxic friendship, leave my reporter child alone, we’re not bashing alya here
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-21
Updated: 2020-06-21
Packaged: 2021-03-04 04:02:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,084
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24827257
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SorryJustAnotherPerson/pseuds/SorryJustAnotherPerson
Summary: Alya considered herself a good friend.She helped her friends get together, she supported them through their faults, she protected them, and overall- she helped them when they needed it.She had been working tooth and nail to keep her friends safe, all at the cost of her.. friends?Wait.. that sounds backwards..But it was true— ever since she moved in with Lila, it felt like she was just working to keep the food coming in, to keep Lila comfortable, to keep Lila happy.It just.. Her mental stability was so fragile and Alya just wanted to help! But that took so much time, due to this she had to refuse being Rena Rouge over and over to help Lila!But Lila was worth it. But Lila was a good friend!Right?
Relationships: Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir/Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug (mentioned), Alya Césaire & Lila Rossi, Alya Césaire & Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug, Alya Césaire/Nino Lahiffe
Comments: 23
Kudos: 399





	“You aren’t a good friend”

Alya considered herself a good friend.

She helped her friends get together, she supported them through their faults, she protected them, and overall- she helped them when they needed it.

Thats why she was protective of Lila, and why it hurt when Marinette and Lila butt heads. They were both good people! They just.. they just didn’t click, that wasn’t their fault, the best people in the world don’t have to get along but that won’t stop them from being the best—

It hurt even more when Lila kept going on and on about horrible Marinette was, even when Alya did her best to keep them apart. Little things like...

_”...You know.. I think it’s really awful of Marinette to keep flaking on you Alya, it’s really rude of her. She should be a better friend...”  
_

_“...Don’t you think Nino is a little too chill around girls? That’s a little weird of him don’t you think?..”_   
  
_“...Alix drinks way too much.. not too responsible of her...”_

_“...Are you sure Chloe changed? I saw her yelling at someone the other day, she still seems like a bully to me...”_

It hurt. But she trusted Lila. Because sure.. yes.. she was right—

Marinette was sometimes flakey.. and it could be frustrating.. and Nino did talk to other people.. but he wouldn’t ever cheat on her! Right? Alix was just a party animal that’s all.. Chloe.. Chloe was getting better.. wasn’t she?

Lila was just worried. She loved Alya! She was a good friend.. she just.. she just needed help

Thats why she listened in and did her best to mediate instead of pull away.. that’s why she broke up with Nino for ‘career paths’.. why she stopped talking to Marinette.. why she moved in with Lila.

Because Lila was hurting! She _needed_ Alya! 

Alya worked tooth and nail to keep her friends safe, all at the cost of her.. friends?

She remembers how they moved in together. Marinette and Her we’re planning an apartment together, until Lila sauntered up, tears rolling down her cheeks as she cried about how her roommate was going to run out on her.

Marinette saw the distress of Alya’s face and suggested that maybe they could room three way together, but Lila shook her head and said “ _Oh.. I don’t want to waste any of your time Marinette! God knows you’re busy all the time.._ ”

God damn it.. it was always that wrinkle of doubt and self righteousness wasn’t it.. she should’ve thought more on that fallen and defeated expression that crossed Marinette’s face as she was so easily drawn in by the angler fish that was Lila. 

Ever since she moved in with Lila, it felt like she was just working to keep the food coming in, to keep Lila comfortable, to keep Lila happy.. Her mental stability was so fragile and Alya just wanted to help, she had to refuse being Rena Rouge over and over to help Lila!

But..

Alya looked over her shoulder, adjusting her glasses tiredly as she saw Lila sleeping peacefully on the couch, swaddled comfortably in blankets with a half eaten pizza that Marinette ordered for them, even though she hadn’t eaten anything..

She looked down at the many bills that were laid out on the table, ones that were meant for Lila— despite the fact that Alya was them filling out. She was tired, and she wanted to sleep, but she needed to keep working to support them. To support Lila.

Because Lila was worth it, because Lila was a good friend!

—Right?

...

”How long has it been since we sat down to chat like this?”

”Pssh girl, it’s been way too long” Alya giggled, her grip on her coffee mug tightening as she stared at her friend.

It felt like the comments against Marinette stopped when Alya stopped hanging out with her best friend.. of course it sprung up today when she told Lila she was going out- The Italian girl stared at her and cried “ _But Marinette hurt me! What if she tries to convince you I’m horrible again!_ ”

Half of Alya wanted to spit back and say “ _Well maybe I should listen this time!_ ” But she shoved it down because that was mean.

However that didn’t stop Alya from staring suspiciously at Marinette. She as getting.. well.. less memes from her, less updates, less favors.. overall they were just.. losing contact.

And Alya didn’t know who to blame.

”It’s good to get together like this again, it’s been less stressful lately with tests and stuff, but it’s really lonely without you, I’ve met a ton of people recently but they’d never compare” Marinette said happily “Though- ChadNoir comes in a close second..”

”Chad..Noir?”

Marinette held up her phone to a picture of her and Adrien, holding a small black cat in their arms, grins goofy and wide as they stared at the camera.

_They've been.. hanging out? I didn’t know that.. I didn’t even know she got a cat.._ Alya thought, _What else have I been missing.. who have I even called in the last five days- hell- the last ten? Was it anyone in her class that I promised to? When was the last time I talked to Nino?_

Their breakup wasn’t even bad, in fact they decided together that because of their work, it’d be better if they were separate for a while until they got their shit together.. but.. how long ago was that? Weeks.. months ago?

Pulling out of her thoughts, Alya forced a smile “Girl you didn’t tell me you got a cat! Why’d you name him ChadNoir?”

”Oh! Adrien suggested it when we got him from the shelter, what a goof.” Marinette giggled, her cheeks dusting a pink “But keep it on the hush hush.. Mr Agreste doesn’t know and will probably scream about cat hair on his little boy’s clothes.. can’t help it though Yknow? He moved in with a cat person!”

_They‘re living together too? How come they didn’t tell me that either..?_

Guilt ached at Alya’s heart as she asked “I didn’t know you were living together! Why didn’t you tell me that’s great news! Are you two dating?” 

An even guiltiest part of her hoped that Marinette said no, so she could work like how they used to when they were young. Getting giddy over romance, planning over the top confessions like the anime’s they’d huddle up and watch with gleeful expressions—

She hoped she didn’t miss that either, so when Marinette shrugged and made an ‘ehhh’ expression, she felt herself sigh in both relief and guilt.

”We talked about it one day, when he moved in” She said, twirling her hair carefully “It was a long conversation, we talked about a lot of stuff honestly.. we decided not to date, even though we like each other. Not yet. We’re not ready for that yet and we need to throw away the rose tinted glasses first”

Alya paused for a moment at those words. Marinette had become so mature when moving out, even after the brief drama and argument they had over Alya moving in with Lila— the fashion designer continued to support Alya’s decisions like she always had.. with favors, unconditional love, and support.

Until.. she didn’t.

Favors for money stopped being accepted, Marinette stopped coming over after the fifth argument she and Lila had, and while Marinette was always there for Alya to cry on.. she didn’t actively push herself in anymore.

It was jarring.

And lonely.

And the horrendous amount of time that Alya found herself spending on Lila’s well-being.. started to become clearer.

But despite that, Alya couldn’t do anything, she had her hands tied because she cared about Lila. If she wasn’t around.. Alya’s eyes screwed together as she tried to imagine it.. _if I wasn’t around Lila would be practically helpless.._

“Alya? Are you okay? You look like your trying to melt your coffee cup with that stare of yours”

Her eyes shot up with surprise, realizing how deep she was in thought

”O-Oh I’m good girl! J-Just thinking that’s all! About how fast time flies.. didn’t.. didn’t realize how much I missed.” She said shyly, scratching the back of her neck. Marinette twiddled her fingers

”Well yeah.. you were never really able to hang out.. always busy with your job..” the fashion designer murmured, making another part of Alya’s heart fracture “..and.. and Lila too..” She forced a bright smile “How is she these days?”

Alya paused, finding herself at a loss of words. There was nothing she could say that was.. positive.

”She’s _fine_.” The reporter said, a little harsher than she wished as she saw the way her best friend winced. Alya gave a reassuring smile but looking behind Marinette at the cafe mirror.. she saw what the fashion designer saw.

A very tired Alya Cesaire. Hair unbrushed, eye bags that dragged down her face, and hands shaking. When did her hands start shaking? When was the last time she fall asleep? When was the last goddamn time did she.. did she..

Looking back at Marinette, she saw the concern in her best friend’s eyes.. and her heart shattered to pieces as she saw the heartbrokeness that flushed across her face, along with the knowingness that seemed to mock all of Alya’s knowledge and intelligence.

”I..” She gulped “I’m doing my best to support both of us.. she said she’s looking for a job.. and.. well it’s not like she has any money to go off of— but..” her eyes narrowed, hurting to continue “..I’m _frustrated_. She hasn’t been.. she hasn’t been paying anything.. and she just.. she just- she’s been going off on her word a lot but..”

” _Alya_.”

She froze. Marinette’s voice was serious, cold, and intense. Alya had no idea such a tone could be spoken out of her best friends mouth, perhaps her comfort over the fashion designer’s normally sweet and soft tone made her vulnerable and thus taken by surprise.

”Yeah girl?” She forced out, the lump in her throat growing more

” _How long have you been living with Lila again?_ ”

Ah there it was,

Alya knew that at the single question, this small get together lunch had turned into an interrogation.

Sweat rolled down her forehead, and now that she was acutely aware of what she looked like— she could finally feel the way her hands trembled, her uncut nails scratching roughly against her skin in a horrible and toxic way to try and distress somehow.

How long has she done this for? Did anyone else notice? Was she the last person to realize how low her health had dropped?

Looking back up at Marinette, she wondered if this was how her best friend, Ladybug, Nino, and Chloe felt on the other side of her interrogation table. She wondered why she never put Lila in that seat.

”Alya- answer me please.” Marinette spoke, her voice having an edge of softness to it despite the horribleness that her strong yet firm tone was, almost reminding her of her mother. “How long have you been living with Lila again?”

”Since the end of school! Which.. which was...” Alya felt her stomach drop. Nearly an entire year ago. “Almost a full year ago.. god how time flies..”

”When was the last time Lila paid the bill?”

”Three we-.. seven.. maybe one.. two.. four... month.. _more than seven_ _months_?” The reporter guessed 

She felt her heart twist. It was like looking at and reading her history from a third person perspective. It was like telling a joke and realizing halfway through how cruel and morbid it was, and trying to backtrack and say ‘That sounds bad out of context’

The twisted and worrisome expression that splashed across Marinette’s face as the fashion designer delicately put her mug of coffee down made Alya shake and break out in a cold sweat.

She knew what Marinette was going to say.. _and she was terrified—_ not because of the idea that the gentle hearted girl she grew to adore was _mad_ , but because she was _right_.

”Alya, I don’t think Lila is a good friend.” She said softly, and surprisingly Alya found herself quiet.

She expected herself to be more mad. More.. _angry_. Because of how protective Alya was to Lila. But she just found herself tired. There was no big reveal, no exploding realization, there was just.. exhaustion.

”Marinette.. you don’t understand.. she _needs_ me-“

”That’s no excuse.” Marinette said firmly, “If she needs emotional support this bad- she should go to a professional therapist, because we both know she’s financially stable, and she can _stay_ financially stable if she gets her shit together.”

Her bluebell eyes narrowed for a moment before continuing again- her voice stern and filled with a hidden layer pain that she hid under a veil of seriousness that she could only recognize from a certain red and black superhero.

“I don’t know your history together. I chose not to know- Maybe that was mean of me.. but I haven’t trusted her since the beginning because Alys—“ she took a deep breath and put a hand on the reporter’s “Maybe she _does_ care about you, maybe you are genuine friends.. but she shouldn’t _need_ you. _She should want you_.”

Alya was at a lost words again. Her heart sinking in her chest as she stared down the beast of a woman she barely knew anymore. Never before has she seen Marinette at such an intensity. Her soft bluebell eyes shining into a clear and almost silver icy stare.

All she could feel was exhaustion. Like a string she was tugging at a long time finally snapped, and opened up an attic full of thoughts, realizations, and denied feelings of frustration, grief, and loneliness.

”Can we hang out soon?” She asked softly, 

Marinette reached towards her face, wiping away tears she didn’t realize she had.

”Of course Alya.”

...

Walking into her apartment, her friend was waiting for her with an infuriated expression.

”Alya you missed my calls! Are you ignoring me!?” Lila exclaimed, the reporter stared at her from the door- and for the first time, she looked at the apartment with clear eyes.

It was unclean. Messy. It looked suffocating. All of the items that weren’t clothes, food, and papers, were all Lila’s. Including the messes.

“You were hanging out with Marinette for far longer than you said! You can’t just throw away your responsibility!” Lila said, crossing her arms as her face contorted with hurt “How could you..”

Alya’s eyes narrowed. She hated this. She hated being the one to end this. But taking a deep breath, she steeled herself.

”Marinette is my friend, Lila.” Alya said calmly “I just lost track of time, she was worried about me because of my inactivity with our old classmates and we were catching up. I—“

”You left me alone Alya! You know how work can be so stressful to me! It hurts! Please don’t abandon me too!” Lila cried. Part of her heart ached, but she listened to her mind instead.

_What did Lila even work on?_ She wondered _What has she done to help me here? Even if she’s genuinely hurting.. she needs to pull her own weight here.._

Doing her best to keep her voice steady, swallowing down the heavy lump in her throat, she _needed_ to draw her lines, to draw her boundaries, she so desperately wanted to be friends with her but..

Alya took a deep breath and spoke again “ _Lila_ , I’m not responsible for your happiness, I care about you but I—“

”How dare you!” Lila screamed, the reporter froze in shock as the Italian girl grabbed onto her collar and pinned her against the wall, her breathing ragged “How could you say that to me Alya! How could you say something so horrible! I thought we were friends!”

”We are friends Lila.” Alya said, and for a moment, she saw relief on Lila’s face, before she shamefully decided to tear it all down “But you aren’t a good friend.”

She pushed past Lila’s frozen body and collected the few things she had: her laptop, a few clothes, her research, her keys, and the few books she could fit under her armpit and inside her bag. She’d be back later- but right now- she was drained, and she wasn’t safe sleeping her.

As she began to walk out the door, she felt Lila’s claws grip tightly to her hand.

”You aren’t abandoning me are you?” She asked, voice breathless and almost manic as her grip tightened around her, nails sinking deeper into her dark skin, she winced in pain at this but Lila ignored it. “You can’t.. we’re friends.. you’re _mine_..”

The reporter grimaced, prying away her wrist from the Italian girl, her heart aching at the person she used to call one of her best friends.

”I’m not abandoning you Lila, but I _am_ leaving you. I need to. I’m not safe here.” Alya said sternly, before grabbing onto the door “I’ll catch you later I guess.. bye Lila.”

And she shut it on her face, taking a deep breath, before booking it down the hall. Away from the apartment. Away from Lila, and back into the streets of Paris. Her heels clicking into the cement, the wind pushing her glasses into her face as she fumbled for her phone, Marinette’s caller ID popping up on it

”Hey.. Marinette? C-Can I crash at your place tonight? My house isn’t safe right now, and.. and I-I just—“ She stuttered through her words, tears dripping down her cheeks as a spark of fear filled her chest. _What if she says no?_

The fashion designer almost seemed to let out a sigh of relief, her voice soft as she answered ”Got you covered Alya, the couch has your name on it”

She wasn’t sure how she got from point A to point B- But one moment she was in the cold streets of Paris, ignoring the many calls Lila was sending her, and the next— she was drifting asleep to the soft murmurs or familiar and warm voices as she laid softly on the couch, swaddled in a blanket— and the small feeling of a curved and warm pendent being placed next to her, 

Violet eyes meeting hers briefly, before she fell fast fast asleep.

Alya was safe.. she was safe.. she was gonna be okay..

She was so lucky to have good friends..


End file.
